A Source to Sanity

Good Vibrations

2010-10-12T16:58:00.017-04:00

Upon arriving at work today, my boss at the farm hopped out of her car and while taking long, confident strides she announced in a sing-song tone, "Today is going to be wonderful day!" With an appreciation for her powerful affirmation, I agreed.

What always surprises me about affirmations is they actually happen.

Back Story: There's a childhood memory I often look back on... My father made me come and help him chop wood in the dead of winter. I remember I was about 12 years-old and it was Thanksgiving. (Back in the day when it used to actually snow on Thanksgiving in NE Ohio. Now it snows like that around Valentines Day. Climate change anyone?) My fingers were freezing and I was cold down to my bones while he instructed how to use the ax. My complaints (having something to do with my desire to be inside even if meant helping out with cooking) quickly rose over his instructions. Without blinking an eye, he gave me a tender smile to show that he was also cold and said in a calm voice, "Mind over matter Kates." He went on to use examples of some of his experiences in the Army. Shortly after convincing myself I was not cold, the shivering stopped and I actually helped chop wood. Enjoyed it, in fact. I had affirmed that I was happy and warm.

Present Day: Everyone was relaxed the whole day at work and we actually finished picking for the CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) customers early. My morning started with my boss and I picking salad greens. As we moved down the row, we chatted (as we always do) on the unjust and just ways of the world. It's wonderful. These conversations always lead to ideas on how to change the world as well. After that process I started to pick raspberries and chat with the bumblebees that were flying all around me, spreading sweetness to our lives. Even as Fall comes and they get cold and confused I have not been stung once. Then again, as I reach all around them to pick the ripe raspberries next to the buds I thank the bees for their hard work. (If you read past posts, you will see this 'talking to bumblebees' is no new phenomenon for me. I love them. The end.)

Then, that was it. The day was over. There was much more picking, but I am always put on the detail-orientated tasks. My boss thinks I am delicate and she's convinced I'm the fastest picker when taking on the delicate tasks. It makes perfect sense to her... I don't question. So by the time I was done, everyone else finished shortly after.

With these extra hours, I decided to enjoy the beauty of the Fall foliage that surrounded me. I walked around the property, snapped some shots, took in the scenery, and left for home in a joyous mood. Wanting to keep a good thing going, I took the back way home. The country roads were splashed with yellow, red, orange, and green with the bluest of blue skies behind every color. I was blissing out! Utter bliss, joy, and appreciation for the colors of a NE Ohio Fall. Just then, I realized this is what I returned from New Zealand for: This place. I had fallen back in love with my homeland. While taking in these new found emotions and smiling down the road, I had a cop pull me over. True story. I was going 35 mph in a school zone (20 mph). Speeding in a school zone is a major offense. To add to the equation, I was in a town notorious for their bored, mean police. He was definitely mean when he approached the window. He asked for the papers and license, then walked back to the cruiser. Moments later he returned with a smile and said, "Just take this as a warning and slow down. Have a good day!" I couldn't believe it. No written warning, nothing, just, "Have a good day!" Completely flustered and utterly confused, I drove away. My love for NE Ohio was crushed for a moment and then grew double it's original size.

Listen, I know I will leave this amazing place again and see more of the world. But, the wonderful day today made me realize that I will always come back. My heart is in the heartland of Ohio!

The unbeatable beauty of a NE Ohio Fall:

Past Lives

2010-09-07T22:52:00.018-04:00

'The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is at last to set foot on one's own country as a foreign land." -- G.K. Chesterton

Not sure how to start this post... It's been so long since I last updated this blog and now I'm debating whether I should try to cram everything into one go or just go off on my typical tirade about what pisses me off in American culture. Hmmmm... This is a toughy ;)

Yes, I have returned to the States. Going on about two months. New Zealand still takes precedent in my dreams and sometimes when I am driving in the car, I realize I'm not on Highway 1 nor am I on my way to see friends in Wellington. The people I met there are number one on my list of things I miss, then the lands, and finally the adventure those open roads offered. This lack of adventure has left me with lots of time to let my mind wander and it only wanders to NZ. I know, depressing. This almost sounds like a bad break-up and I am the one who had their heart broken. Not going to lie: that's what it feels like sometimes. The first month was a hard one. I had highs and lows, but mostly lows. Getting back on the farm has helped bring me peace and re-connect with the lands I was raised on. Slowly, but surely I am climbing out of that hole.

As for the documentary... I'm feeling a bit lost. Days go by where I have to keep my recorder and note pad next to the bed because the creative ideas have overcome my overly vivid imagination. (Note: I get my best ideas at night). Other days, I stare at the computer screen and / or watch footage to get some type of inspiration. It's a tricky situation, but it will come.

Now for the reverse culture shock, oy vey. I think this has been my biggest struggle. I am NOT the girl I was. Simple as. Upon getting off the plane in LAX everywhere my eyes went, there was someone trying to sell me something (in two languages). Then to top off my first American day: after months of only eating out of people's backyards my parents invited me Denny's. Really? When the waitress walked up I asked for wine. This wasn't a menu option. After briefly considering kissing loved ones goodbye and running off into the night to the nearest international airport, I ordered fruit and granola. Being on a plane for 30 hours meant I was far too cranky to appreciate how desperately they wanted to see me. My parents are not fans of Denny's and it showed they were also out of place when I arrived and saw them both in suits and my mother wearing pearls.

Next was the arrival home (my actual house) to realize exactly how many things, useless things, I own. This made me ill and freak out (Hunter S. Thompson style). I'm in the process of clearing it ALL out. So far I have only gone through my clothes. Shoes may take awhile...

Within the first week, my boyfriend decided to treat me to my favorites which I had been deprived of for five months. More specifically, authentic Mexican food. So off we went (my first dinner date in ages). While in the car, I realized just how lavish my lifestyle was before I left. I turned to Rob and said, "We literally have the world at our fingertips here. We can have Mexican on Monday, Chinese Tuesday..." and on it went. This realization was too much to grasp. My nerves were shot and my appetite died quickly as well. The loss of appetite was really no big deal since for the first month I was home, like clockwork, I'd wake up at 3;30 a.m., wonder where I was, and realize my growling stomach was what woke me out of a REM cycle. It was dinner time in New Zealand at that ungodly hour, so don't worry Mom and Dad I have been eating fine.

Television also freaks me out, especially reality tv. Entertainment has consisted of music, movies, cooking, and staying outside.

One major change that I adapted to quickly was using MY shower. I could stay in for as long as wanted and not feel bad for using all the water, truly brilliant. Even with this luxury my training of quick showers remains. Guess it's just nice to have the option ;) Actually due to the abundance of hot water my skin (which went on the wayside while staying dirty and living in cars) is as clear as before I left. Thank the gods! I'm far too old for acne and have a tendency to be absolutely vain. Actually the first thing my mother said upon seeing me was, "Your complexion took a beating." Thanks mom.

Overall, my major obstacle has been realizing that these completely different worlds both exist. You see, during the first month at home, I felt like I'd re-visited a past life and was clawing at the walls to return to NZ. That changed to me questioning whether NZ was just a dream: that I had never truly experienced those wondrous lands with my own two eyes. I was torn between two worlds, living in my own, and dreaming of future travels. A LOT going on in this brain of mine. In reality, I do still get the urge to run, but home is where I'm supposed to be right now and I've embraced it. There are so many lessons traveling has to offer and there are plans to do much more, but for now home and with family is where I belong. This spring may hold other views...

Only in America :)

Well, well, it's Wellington!

2010-06-29T03:24:00.008-04:00

As my friend/surrogate father, Jon, put it, "When you are left without options learning and change happen pretty quickly. That's what traveling does... It puts you in a situation where you have no other option but to adapt."

Since I am heading home soon, I made the trip down to Wellington to see people who have left quite an impression on me since I have been in New Zealand. It's funny how one city can hold almost all of the people I have grown to love in my short time here. Everything in traveling is accelerated and the bonds I have formed with these families and friends will be everlasting.

So after three great weeks of working and learning in the hippy, surfer town of Raglan, I said goodbye and bussed it down to Wellington to see loved ones. On the InterCity bus route from Hamilton to Wellington I realized this was the second time I had taken this very ride. The first journey felt like it was years ago...

My first trip took place during my second week in NZ when I was escaping an anti-American Kiwi host in Te Mata. This woman was mildly mental and trying to pull me into a bizarre power struggle I couldn't win. (I was staying in her house so had to grit my teeth and figure out where to run.) Emotionally exhausted and completely vulnerable I took the easy route and fled to a familiar face (my first friend in NZ, Euan) in Wellington. Bad habits are hard to break and I was repeating a pattern I have many times before: leaning when someone lets me and sticking with the familiar. If my former self had been sitting next to me on this bus trip I would have likely found her annoying and given a monologue-worthy lecture.

Regretfully my former self was not seated next to me, yet I was still rather annoyed. A tiny, bald Brit (Why are all the Brits I meet always so small?) with huge headphones was reclined next to me. Out of his phones the shrill, screaming voice of Steven Tyler was seeping into my ear space. How he was listening to music that loud with a relaxed face and closed eyes was baffling to me. Especially Aerosmith, I mean, come on my man! My frustration was only growing because due to effing Steven Tyler I could no longer hear the whistling man who had been sharing the bus with me during the whole trip. I never did get to see the lips those beautiful tones were flowing out of, but he had me captivated the entire bus ride. He could whistle anything including "I Love the Nightlife" and he even made a Lady Gaga song pleasing to my buds. Dear whistling man: "Although I never saw your face, I think I love you." It sounds crazy, I know but love is never rational. Think about all the men in the world who fall in love with a woman's fake breasts. At least the whistler has a God-given talent. Relationships have been built on lesser things, trust me.

Dis friggin' guy and his Aerosmith (my attempt at typing a Boston accent)

Getting back to my wandering mind on the InterCity: This case of déjà vu was pretty trippy... The first time I arrived in Wellington to meet up with Euan he was at a concert. Since he could not meet me when I got off the bus at the train station, he told me to "head into town." Unfortunately these were not clear directions since when I walked out onto the busy, city streets it looked like I was IN town. So I timidly slunk back into the train station to enjoy the architecture and my book. This lasted about thirty minutes. While into one of Thoreau's rants, I had a shiver come over me and looked up to see a man in cut-off shorts and blood-shot eyes lingering, staring, and smiling. After I stared back without a smile, he didn't flinch. So my next tactic was to run, or more realistically: gather my things, get up, and walk away. He followed. My stomach rose to my throat in shear panic. Just as I was about to throw my bags at him and break out into tears a woman who worked at the train station walked over and asked if I was okay. I responded, "I don't know" in a shaky voice. She looked behind me at the crazy man and said, "Come this way." I was led back to the security office, behind what I like to think was bullet-proof glass, and seated next to an enormous Samoan security guard to wait for Euan. After realizing what had just happened I couldn't help but feel mortified at the fact that I, a 25 year-old adult, was treated like a lost 12 year-old, separated from their parents. Upon Euan's arrival to pick me up, the embarrassment only grew until he said it looked like I was getting V.I.P. treatment with a chuckle. It was sweet of him to help me save face, but I knew what we were both thinking. Oy vey.

My second trip -- much less eventful. I got off the InterCity, found my bus and rode up to my friend's house. No questions asked. I know the city now and even if the man in cut-off shorts had been waiting for me at the station a second time, I would have likely started chatting with him, having a genuine interest in his craziness.

Jon was right, when you are left without options, you do adapt quickly. If you're a slow learner, get used to being humiliated and treated like a child. That is, if you're lucky enough to be in a country where people actually care about your well-being. The Kiwi kindness is certainly a rarity in this world. As liberating as adaptation may be, traveling doesn't let you revel in your confidence for long. If you're a devoted traveler your surroundings are always changing and hitting the road to a new world, new city, new people is a given. This world is too vast to only stay in your comfort zone. Plus I've never heard of any adventures that can occur while seated on a couch.

Gypsies, tramps, and thieves

2010-06-17T04:57:00.005-04:00

As a Cambodian cafe owner said to me while I was ordering a flat white in Napier, "The world is round you know, the world is round. You have to get out there and see it, you must!"

My original plan when I came to New Zealand was to exploit (for lack of a better term) what the Kiwis are doing to live a more sustainable existence. Through my research, WWOOFing, and interviews I have learned more than I expected as far as living a more sustainable lifestyle (these details I am saving for my documentary, which was the original purpose for me coming to Aotearoa a.k.a. New Zealand). But on top of the environmental lessons this country has given me, I have grown as a person and a traveler...

Living out of a suitcase for months at a time is not for everyone. Being on your own and having only yourself to rely on is not for everyone. Questioning where you are going to sleep at any given night definitely is not for the faint of heart. What I have found is I quite like the transient lifestyle. My mind that used to be cluttered with loads of useless nonsense and worries has been opened to one thing while on the road: survival. A bit dramatic, I know but it's also true. When you are focused on the fundamentals in life, that is surviving. I can't begin to tell you all the things I've done and witnessed in this one post, but what I can tell you is what this country has shown me about myself and the world.

For starters I have come realize my old life back home was beyond excessive. Why anyone needs 50+ pairs of shoes in their closet is a mystery in itself and yet that's what I became accustomed to in the States. Here, I have been working and traveling with four pairs, which is still a bit much. Another aspect is the idea of living space. In the States, my fiance and I shared a roomy two bedroom cottage. In New Zealand, I have gone from living in a car (literally, I lived in a car) to just having a bunk bed available and that's it. In fact, while living in the car I hiked 17 km just to be able to lay flat on my back. This fully reclined position was available in a hut where I slept with about 40 strangers next to me, sharing the mattresses that spread across the floor. The whole time I was walking the track to the hut, I couldn't help but wonder what the world would be like if you always had to put in that much effort just for a bed (it wasn't even a bed, it was a mattress on a hardwood floor). To branch off of the living space... Travelers never really have their OWN space. You are always at the mercy of others and always infiltrating people's homes and lives. The hosts I have had, for the most part, have welcomed me into their homes with open arms. Before I came here I would have never even considered letting a perfect stranger stay in my house, let alone be a welcoming host. Seriously, they don't call it "Kiwi hospitality" for nothing. This is a real phenomenon and it's happening everyday right here in NZ! If any of this sounds like a struggle you should know these factors are secondary to the experiences you get out of leaving your comfort zone. It's not all daisies of course. It took me a long time to adapt to the world of traveling. In fact, I found myself clinging to anything or anyone familiar just to have that security blanket, but I had to learn those actions defeat the purpose of coming half way around the globe. You have to leave your comfort zone, you have to get used to not showering, you have embrace the fact that the odor you smell may very well be YOU, but on top of everything you just have put yourself out there. If you get burned, you learn. If not, you still learn. It's a simple life for the traveler and that's the beauty. Honestly I can't even tell you the last time I watched television. This lack of outside entertainment has made me offer my own, which has spurred a number of the adventures I have been on -- it all really came from trying to avoid boredom, simple as. (Sorry there's some Kiwi lingo for you "simple as, sweet as, thick as" it goes on.) This is not meant to be preachy. I certainly don't have it all figured out and am still very new to the world of travel. There are others who I have met along the way who would have a very different interpretation and give very different advice, but that's the beauty: there's no right or wrong way to do things. It's all up to you and what you make for yourself, not what other people, cultures, or the media says. You have a blank slate to do with what you want -- that's the adventure. More importantly, travel forces you to cut out the excess and become a minimalist. Even though you might be burning petrol and flying in planes you are changing your habits to do more with less. It's all so simple and it is one the fundamentals to a more sustainable life.

Where was I going with this? Hmmmm... Oh right, I am coming home soon, very soon in fact and I can't help but wonder how I will adapt to my old life back home. Editing the documentary should absorb my life for some time, but it's the little things that terrify me. Exhibit A: Trying to pick out an outfit when I'll have a closet full of options, not just a suitcase. I am literally terrified of this idea. To remedy this and avoid drama, I plan to sell off what I don't need. The other issue is I am not sure how long I will last staying in one place. In New Zealand, my longest stretch has been three weeks. THREE WEEKS! This might pain those I love back home, but I honestly don't think the travels are going to stop anytime soon. This world is round and I intend to see more. Simple as. The idea of spending the best years of my life working to enjoy actual living during my older years just does not sit right with me, it never has (which explains why I became a journalist). I can't be a corporate slave and I am incapable of conforming to the status quo. It's just the way I am. This trip has shown me how far I can move away from the comforts of home and I know I can go further. It's the challenge and the new faces that pull me in (along with the scenery). People are meant to be free and for me the road offers this freedom. For those of you who have had a dream to see distant lands and experience new cultures all I have to say is this: People keep asking me, "Why do you travel?" and the only response I have is, "Why not?" The life of a nomad has it's advantages and home will always be there. The people who are not willing to be there for you when you return are the people who are worth leaving behind.

Never a stranger...

2010-03-08T20:58:00.005-05:00

Euan: "Isn't it interesting that we can come from opposites sides of the Atlantic, meet in a place that isn't even supposed to be inhabited by people, and start chatting only to find out that we have the same ideals?"

Many of you know that I am currently on the other side of the world, staying in a place that closely resembles the age of dinosaurs -- New Zealand. While visiting and working on farms, I have met someone who will remain a lifelong friend. His name is Euan and he is from the U.K.

After numerous late night talks while working at the Earthship together, Euan got out his journal. I found his writing colorful and insightful, not to mention it paralleled my ideals. Since I have been so intrigued, I wanted to share. So after little convincing he is letting me post one of his journal entries that he wrote while WWOOFing at an eco-village... Enjoy!

Awaawaroa

There is something here in this eco-village community that I have not come across before in my time. That I have not seen with my own eyes. I feel an enormous sense of freedom and well-being just being here and have never found such instant comfort around people who are strangers to me. I have to say then, that those who live within the realm of the ideals which you seek cannot be strangers. It's an unbreakable cohesion and this is a magical place.

The cicadas sing relentlessly in highs and lows, rhythmically in sync, building to almost deafening crescendos that then fall to silence like a shattering glass that's been teetering on the brink. Oh I ponder at the irony when I watch flocks of cheeky sparrows that flit around this beautiful garden who know nothing of their cousins' plight on distance shores, where they should prosper in harmonious abundance according to Nature's laws. Across the water in the antipodean countryside and urban sprawl the sparrows cease to call and the trees stand silent. No longer can they be content from their provision for all those who dwelled among their many tears of refuge.

In many corners and vast expanses across, our planet has risen: the age of fast-paced unconsciousness, of greed, war, and uncompromising consumerism. Beneath the grind of machines, effervescent glow of bright lights, pounding thuds of all night parties, and shrieks of drunken girls lingers only one thing -- silence, unbreakable silence. Many things hang in the balance and Mother Nature stands divided. We are her tyrant.

Human nature has risen and keeps on rising with all its many vices and they do prosper by corrupting the young and exploiting the weak and persecuting all those who stand in the way of ultimate power and it's bleak. Like an addiction, fades to nothing, falls to dust.

We must not though have mistrust of humanities' ultimate virtue -- love. And from that love comes faith and the faith that forges with the power of love. Love for all beings and lifeforms and love for all that is. We are as is all life a miracle and we have a calling from the true powers that reign in the infinite unknown. As we stand high on the top rung of the ladder of life, we presume ourselves entitled to domination over all else. We of course must not forget that it's all else that foots the ladder and prevents it from slipping beneath. Destruction cannot lead us to prosperity when bloodshed is used to boost economy and this becomes a mask over trust and honesty.

We are Nature and we must be natural or else our future will become written. The day we cease to be bitten by those that fly and those that crawl, will be a day too late to make the call. If you don't want this fairytale to have an end, then unite and strike the pillars of greed. The forest is our temple which we must love and defend.

By: Euan TW Storrar
February 14, 2010

Zeitgeist

2010-02-02T13:40:00.008-05:00

"There is no such thing as independence in nature. The whole of nature is a unified system of interdependent variables, each a cause and a reaction, existing only as a concentrated whole."
-From the movie Zeitgeist: Addendum

Here is a clip...

I felt the urge to share this video, but will leave my opinion out of this post. Everyone who watches these documentaries has to come into them with an open mind and I don't want to sway anyone with my thoughts and interpretations.

To learn more and to see both movies go to http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/

Thoughts of a daydreamer...

2009-11-06T11:30:00.006-05:00

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler."
-- Henry David Thoreau

The dream of traveling overseas is not uncommon. Not the traveling that comes when you can afford it -- going to all of the tourist spots, dealing with crowds, staying in first-class hotels, and never really getting a taste of what another country has to offer. To me, this is not traveling. What I want is not comfortable or "almost American."

People in my generation have been told their whole lives -- go to school, get a degree, get a good job, move to the suburbs, and have a cookie cutter life. This path has never been appealing to me. I tried to ignore my bohemian ways and follow most of those requirements, but then something happened... The economy basically collapsed.

As if getting a job in the highly competitive field of journalism was not hard enough, now no one could find a job. So, I decided to learn more and write about what I'm interested in -- farming and food.

The reason -- there are so many upcoming crises my generation has unknowingly inherited from our parents. The climate crises, the water crises, and the fact that our life expectancies are much lower than our parents are just a few. The only thing I could link all these factors to was farming and the food we eat. (If you want to learn more about that, read some of my past posts, specifically, "You are what you eat.")

My summer on the organic farm is over and it is now time for my next move...travel to Middle Earth.

Gahhhh! I want to go to there!

The plan -- travel alone, travel light and work my way through New Zealand (literally) by working on various farms along the way. There is this great program called WWOOF (World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms) that lines travelers (a.k.a. WWOOFers) up with hosts who will give them a place to stay and plenty of food in exchange for work. Farming in NZ is a major aspect of their country's economy. They are also known for their pro-environmental stance -- 65 percent of the electricity in NZ is generated with renewable energy, primarily hydropower (52%) and geothermal power (9%).

This is the place I have always wanted to go. Why am I telling you this? I hope to be an example to everyone in my generation who has a dream. (I know, totally narcissistic.) But, we all have dreams that we have put on hold because they seem unrealistic or unreasonable. Why not do it NOW? According to Eckhart Tolle, the author of the Power of Now... the time is always NOW.

Currently, I am selling my soul, working in retail (bleck) to save up for this journey. Regardless of the economy, finding a job in a field like retail was effortless. Looks like Thoreau may have had a point -- the laws of my universe are simple. Yes, there is plenty of research and an attempt at planning ahead, which explains the huge time gap between this post and my last one. But, all I really need to do is make money, that's it. Once I get to Middle Earth, where I am going will likely remain a question until I am on my way to the airport (hosts do not want WWOOFers to contact them too early). Just like a true explorer:) Again, simple.

Ripping the legs out from under capitalism and taking down our crooked government may also be a dream of mine, but this one needs to come first -- the calm before the storm:)

Getting that "good" job is no longer an option for most of us. All of the college grads in this country may have been sold into slavery due to the fact that paying off our student loans is our first introduction into the real world...I have those loan payments myself, but my bills are getting paid. The only thing holding you back from your dreams is YOU. This uneasiness all of us Millennials feel is not anxiety. It's your dreams waiting to come to fruition. The time to "go confidently in the direction of your dreams" is NOW my friends...

The little things...

2009-09-21T19:22:00.007-04:00

While carpooling to work with my boyfriend the other day, I noticed some pretty, yellow flowers by the red light we were waiting at. After briefly feeling bad for the flowers' concrete surroundings, I announced, "look at those cool flowers." My boyfriend (who has been driving this route for years) said, "Hm, those are cool. I never noticed them before."

This started a whirlwind of thoughts. If my boyfriend (who is usually on the same "level" as me) didn't notice those flowers, who does? Why are they there? How many people just keep driving, shaking their head at the traffic, and talking on their cell phones without glancing over to see the beauty those little, yellow flowers have to offer? Often times, no matter how bad my day is, just watching the bee next to me move his little legs around clumsily in that flower can be so invigorating. Maybe it's just me and my hippie ways, but nature can really help cure a number of emotional and day to day ailments. How many times have you thought about your taxes while on a hike?

There have been so many cases of people who are near death finally stopping to smell the roses, play piano, or just listen to the birds. Could it be that living our daily, work, home, eat, sleep life is worse than death OR is it just not enough people notice those little, yellow flowers? I am going with the latter.

If people took notice of the little things, life would always offer some new form of beauty or pleasure. Instead of focusing on getting from point A to B while you sit in traffic, look around, watch those birds dance around that worm, look at the ant carry that McDonald's french fry off the road, just observe the world around you. Go to the Farmer's Market and get fresh food, take your time and cook a meal, instead of just finding something to consume. Making and taking time with the little things can change the mundane routine into something of excitement and adventure...like the world is through a child's eyes.

A few weeks ago, while weeding basil...I decided to get really low to the ground like I was in a jungle of basil, getting an ant's eye view. Just then, a huge hand came and pulled out the really tall weeds that bypassed the basil all around me. Then, the sun shined through in perfect streams through those glossy, bushy branches of the herb. See? It's easy:)

I encourage all of you to take some time tomorrow to look away from your computer, get off your cell phone, and just look around you. Let your imagination roll...and if you're lucky, you may come home with a story to share of the great adventure you had while sitting in traffic.

Life was never meant to be lived with tunnel vision, find the beauty in every day and every moment that passes.

Trying to stay on The Path

2009-09-10T23:00:00.014-04:00

Recently I caught a bad habit, which could definitely worsen my slight ADD -- thinking everything that pops up in my life is serendipitous. It could never just be a coincidence, right?

Just moments ago, feeling the urge to communicate, I checked my e-mail and a message from Journalism Next was waiting in my inbox (I always read these messages to see if there are any decent job listings for journalist nearby and there never are). As I scrolled the e-mail, "Washington, nope; New York, nope," I stumbled upon a message from Berkeley. This is HUGE to me because my FAVORITE and I mean favorite (hence the all caps) writer teaches there -- Michael Pollan. I read the description of the program and it was orgasmic. Suddenly I thought, "this must be a sign." And this is where the trouble begins...

I love this sense of freedom that I have recently had. Truthfully, this freedom has come from my refusal to take on a lot of responsibilities and the fact that, well, I just don't like the whole idea of, "This is it, this is my life?" popping into my head one day. My head is in the clouds and I know this, but the air is fresher up here:)

Anyways, I keep doing this to myself. In the past few weeks I have jumped from, "hey I want to go to NZ" to "maybe I should start a business" and now..."maybe I should get my Master's in journalism at Berkeley and hang out with Pollan." It's just getting ridiculous. No journalists need their Master's, experience is what matters. Would it kick ass? Duh, yeah it would be awesome (with a capital A). But, it's just not necessary.

Another example: One day while working on the farm and in very low spirits, a life coach came to help out with picking. My boss assigned him to help me with the task I was working on and we started chatting. He was from Chicago and a successful life coach who simply did what ever he wanted. His first question was, "What do you like to do?" I replied, "write" in a slightly annoyed tone to his intrusiveness. He asked, "Is there any way to make money from that?" and it goes on. To make a long story short, after about a half hour of his prying, we got to the nitty gritty. He called me an idealist and told me to be more sensible. He also told me that the only thing stopping me from my dream (to be Michael Pollan) was myself. Yes, this was serendipitous. I could not have run into this man on a better day. It was like he was delivered to me to give me a swift kick in the ass as a reminder that I'm walking on the right path. The Berkeley e-mail on the other hand...

For the sake of a positive outlook, my whole attitude could be serendipity in itself. If I am free to experience what ever I wish, I can walk through any open door I choose. Ugh, I sound like such a drifter. Did you see what I just wrote? Ew. How do I say this? I know that things are unsettled in my life right now, because I am not ready to settle. This lack of focus might be insane and this slight case of ADD (not diagnosed, I am also a slight hypochondriac) could worsen, but it's silly to worry. Patience is a virtue and I need to find some and stop wondering, "what do I do next?" I know it will come...and after that I just need to put one foot in front of the other. People who live full lives never stop and think to themselves, "this is it?" It's never too late to walk through those open doors and remembering that Moses did not know his purpose until he was 80-years-old doesn't hurt either:)

Nothing but smiles...

2009-08-14T18:01:00.014-04:00

Woke up today in the funk that has been following me around for about a week now...got into work, late as usual, and started picking baby lettuces for a beautiful, organic salad mix that my boss sells at the Saturday markets. Certain that I was not going to be a happy camper with temps expected to hit the mid 80s, I kept to myself and sampled some Purslane (an edible weed with salty, delicious leaves) to give me enough energy to get through the morning. As a writer, I love to observe and listen...so that is what I did most of the morning as my fellow gardeners tediously clipped the baby greens and discussed this whole battle of food. One conversation that took my attention was regarding how us food activists, who are trying to take down Big Agriculture, need to be more vigilant. One of my more opinionated co-workers expressed how the extremists are absolutely necessary in this battle to get the American diet back on track. I really liked this statement. If it isn't obvious -- I am extreme. It seemed to validate my over-the-top views and made me realize that I am not alone. Suddenly, this funk I couldn't shake started to subside and unexpectedly, I smiled. After being bent over, picking baby lettuce all morning I got a slight break when I took the gator to help some of my other co-workers bring back the carrots they had picked. While picking up heavy buckets filled with water and carrots and loading them onto the gator, one of my co-workers commented on how strong I have gotten during my time at the farm. I guess she noticed a physical transformation I have been unaware of. Since I have been given the reputation as being the "delicate runt" of the group by my boss, her compliment made me feel really good and again, I smiled.

Moving on to lunch...three of the farm interns are going back to school so we sent them off with a long lunch and a little awards ceremony to recognize their strong points. We ate delicious cupcakes and I talked to the men on the farm about helping them bale a field of hay that had been sitting out to dry. I was planning my escape out of the garden that I have come to slightly resent since I feel I am only learning half of the story when it comes to farming.

Lunch came to an end and I was sent to pick tomatillos, tomatoes and peppers. As you know from previous posts, I have come to love bumblebees during my time at the farm (in fact, I saved one from a watery grave earlier in the morning -- one of my co-workers looked at me like I was crazy). Since the tomatoes are in bloom, the bumblebees were all around me as I harvested these juicy sandwich toppings. I am beginning to associate these fuzzy, little creatures with dogs. Yes, the dogs of the insect kingdom. They are so lovable, sweet and really will not sting without a GOOD reason (much like a dog that looks for love and it's sweet disposition keeps it from biting, unless absolutely necessary). I also enjoy the rare graze of the bumblebees furry, little body on my back as they fly from one of the flowers surrounding me to another. Needless to say, between the bumblebees and the uplifting conversation I was having with one of my co-workers as we picked, I smiled the whole time.

Then, came the last leg of the day and suddenly, one of the men appeared on a tractor, pulling a huge mechanical device. He hopped out and offered to show my co-workers and I how this contraption worked. It was a hay baler. This thing basically looked like something out of Willy Wonka's factory with spinning spikes that are used to pull the dried grass in, then some other spikes drop down and push the hay to the side where a large press comes out of nowhere and pushes the hay into a neatly shaped rectangle. The final touch of string to keep the rectangular bale together comes in and then the bale is shot out of a shoot into a big cage that is connected to the back of the hay baling machine. Writing about this device makes it sound really complicated, because, well...it is. I will provide a picture soon so you can get a better idea.

With the permission of the farm manager, two of my co-workers and I set off to bale some hay. The first step is to mow the field, but leave the grass clippings behind so they can dry out. Then, you rake the dried grass clippings into piles called "wind rows" and leave them there to dry some more. Next comes the hay baler (that Willy Wonka machine).

We got to the field for the final two steps and each got a chance to drive the baler and the rake. I was first on the baler...since I know how to drive stick, I was overly confident jumping on the massive John Deere tractor that was pulling the baler. Even if you know the gears, moving the stick is no easy task. My driving instructor basically had to do that part for me (so much for the compliment of strength that came earlier in the day). The driving part was pretty easy and once I saw where I needed to be on the row so the baler could collect the dried grass, it was smooth sailing. Since my eyes were planted on the ground in front of me, I did miss a funny moment when a bale of hay shot out and hit a boy in the back of the head. You see, these bales of hay are spit out the back of the baler into a cage, there, people riding in the cage collect the bales and stack them. A boy helping had his back turned (piling up the hay) when a bale shot out in his direction -- guess he should have been paying attention. The only part of this image (that I am sure belongs on America's Funniest Videos) that I got to see was the after shock of laughter coming from my driving instructor riding by my side that rose over the sound of the roaring tractor. After I baled one row, another co-worker jumped on for her turn. After that, I was off to take on the 50-year-old tractor that was pulling the rake around, readying the piles of grass to be collected by the baler. I actually preferred this tractor to the modern, John Deere. It's controls were simple and I did not even notice the lack of power steering (ha, I got my strength back). While I was riding it and trying to listen to the guidance from my new, more gentle driving instructor...I couldn't help but feel like I went back in time. I felt like a real farmer and nothing could take the grin off my face at that moment.

Now that I am writing and sharing my day with you, I am still smiling. The funk is gone. My boyfriend always tells me when I am worrying or in a negative state of mind, "Dude, God always hooks it up. Everything is going to happen just as it should because it's God's plan -- it's perfect, it's all there ever is." These tractor lessons to get me out of the garden to learn more about farming could not have come at a better time. This day of one smile after another, just reminded me what I am working on this organic farm for -- to learn. What I want out of this life is to be able to live with the Earth and God, not conform and be like everyone else. I am my own person. What I have become a part of at this farm is important to me and will make a difference in my life (and others'). What comes next? I have no idea, but right now I am okay with the mystery:)

Some delicious Purslane. This edible weed has succulent leaves and is probably growing in your own garden or backyard. Throw it in a salad for a natural, salty kick. It's sooo good, really!

Lost...

2009-08-13T14:07:00.010-04:00

If you have been reading this blog, you can see I talk a good game. But, a feeling of confusion and being completely lost in life has been haunting me...

On one hand I have started this whole quest to "save the world" by starting with the most fundamental need -- food. I know I will look back at my experience on the organic farm fondly, but right now I have just been frustrated. I am not learning enough about the animals. Apparently that's a man's job because all the men work with the livestock and the women are left to toil away in the garden. I got a job on a diverse, organic farm for a reason. That reason was not to only learn about half of what we omnivores eat. Yes, I know how to grow my own food when sooo many people do not, but I am feeling a little disappointed. Maybe the next farm will be better, maybe I will subscribe to WWOOF (World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms) and travel -- I have no idea. Lately, I am lost on what to do about my life as a whole.

When I see my friends, they ask, "Well, now that you are working on the farm...what are you going to do next?" Do you have any idea how terrifying that question is for me? The reason why it scares is because I don't have a next move. Yes, I have not completely left journalism. I am broadening my writing abilities everyday and writing for more and more publications. I plan to add these freelancing experiences to my portfolio, but what the hell am I going to do with my portfolio? I have no answers.

It seems every next move I come up with has to do with "saving the world." This mindset has not only stressed me out, it has made me forget about myself. What am I going to do to better myself and my career? Going back to school has crossed my mind, but for what?

My feelings of absolute confusion and being lost in my own thoughts has led to me being completely apathetic. I know I have work to do, I know I have to make money, I know I have deadlines...but right now -- I just don't care. What the f is wrong with me?!

I know this blog is really me just repeating what's going on in my mind out loud and is terribly depressing, but I really feel so lost. I have run out of ideas. Are these quests to try and change the direction our country is heading in just me avoiding growing up and conforming? I can't even answer what I want out of life anymore. As someone who has always been so sure of myself and what I want, this is a scary realization. Is it just a phase? Is it time to just get a "good" job? Or should I just suck it up and let time and God tell? I have no answers, hopefully that's just a part of youth...but, then again, I am not young anymore...

Nature Girl

2009-08-06T22:23:00.007-04:00

It's official, I have become a bonafide hippie ass, nature lover...and, I have come to terms with this.

Many Eastern religions/practices believe that you can draw energy in from an outside source or, better yet, the earth. While working on the farm, I have not only formed a closer bond with the outdoors, but also all the creatures that come with the territory (i.e. insects). There are numerous times when I feel like I have worked to the point of absolute physical exhaustion and there is no chance that I can even pick up that hoe, let alone finish what ever row I may be getting ready to plant in. During those moments, without thought, I just look up. The thick woods that surround me, the turkey vulture flying overhead, the glimpse of the white belt of a Galloway through the woods, suddenly it all makes sense...

It's not new news that we have problems all around us -- the economy is collapsing, the free market is becoming more and more evil everyday, all of our politicians are soulless puppets, and to top it off, our own planet seems to be turning against us too. Regardless of how corrupt things have become, I can't help but feel this glint that there is hope. One day, while I was complaining about how hopeless it all seems, one of my co-workers (with far more life experience than myself) said the simplest statement which suddenly made my own bitching come to a halt, "Just be an activist." So simple, right? She then continued to say, "The civil rights movement seemed hopeless, women's' suffrage seemed hopeless; it didn't happen overnight. Those movements still happened because they remained activist."

This is not another one of my "preachy" posts, I am just asking that more people look up. The hardest days can suddenly become so perfect with a pretty flower, a rainbow popping up, or just a sweet sunset. The hippies were not just a phase, I see activism shining so bright in everyone I work with at the farms and all of my friends. We can see that a more loving, peaceful world is around the corner...there is just a HUGE bend to get around:) So, take the time to just look up, take the time to go for a walk after a horrible day at work and breath in the smells and fresh air. Meditation and stopping your mind from endless thought can easily be accomplished from taking in the "awe" of the world around us. The activism and your path to try and "save the world" will follow...

Another day, another sore back...

2009-08-04T18:33:00.010-04:00

Today started out like any other day on the farm -- I rolled in about a half hour late to see all of my co-workers all ready knee deep in their tasks. Tuesdays are picking days and as the season continues, there is more to pick so my tardiness (although expected of "the girl who drives in all the way from Akron") is always embarrassing. To make up for lost time, I quickly got a basket, wet it down, grabbed a rag, wet that down and started picking Nasturtiums. Nasturtiums are an edible flower that are good for adding a "kick" to your usually mundane salad. Since we can't wash them (not sure why not yet), we have to keep them moist and beautiful -- this is where the wet wooden basket and towel to cover them with come in. In fact, on picking days, everything we harvest must be sheltered from the sun. Apparently direct sunlight on a plant that has just been pulled from its life source (the dirt, the plants' stem, etc) results in almost instant wilting. The wilting is not only unattractive, but I think it results in some loss of nutrients as well. Since most people who visit farmers' markets expect the produce sold to resemble that of the gassed and shipped produce you see at the grocery store, my boss insists that beauty and appearance are key. So...we follow orders.

Once I was finished picking the Nasturtiums, I then had to weed and "dead head" the almost overwhelming rows of them that remained -- the ones I did not even walk past before my basket was full of these gorgeous flowers. Although I was assisted by one of my co-workers, this task took all morning. It was rather uneventful and I spent most of my time politely asking passing bumblebees not to sting me while I pulled out all of the dead flowers and tackled the never ending task of weeding. Apparently people driving by were also able to see just how daunting this task was -- a driver of a pick-up truck who really wanted to know about the cows relayed a message from his passenger to me saying, "My Ma said you got yer hands full over dere, I hope they're payin' ya by the hour." I politely gave him a thumbs up to say "yes" although I really wanted to raise another finger and tell them to get out of the truck and help me if they're so entertained. My annoyance was quickly subsided as I continued to observe how patient the bumble and honeybees were with me as I tore through their environment. You see, we have to pick off the dead flowers, because those are stealing energy from the plant. If the dead flowers go, the plant then takes this hint to start producing new, young flowers for us to eat and sell at the market. This is really the same reason why people prune their plants by tearing off the bottom leaves -- push the energy upward to produce more of the...well, produce.

Next, up was lunch under the tree. After being bent over flowers all day all I wanted to do was lay down and straighten my back. I attempted eating and laying down for a moment when no one was paying attention -- it didn't go well.

Arrrrgh back to work, still with a sore back. What was next? Take a guess...more weeding. This time in the rows of tomatoes in neatly spaced raised beds. If you don't know what raised beds are, they are basically rows of raised dirt with hoses along each side and plastic covering them. We plant the tomatoes like this because their roots like to stay warm and moist while their stems prefer to be dry. Plus, tomatoes tend to be a haven for diseases, so watering them where they meet the soil is the best solution to avoid diseases spreading. If you water tomatoes from the top down (like you do with most plants), any disease on their leaves will work its way down to the roots -- infecting the whole plant. This weeding task was a little nerve wracking, because, for one, you felt like you were in the middle of a beehive. Numerous bumblebees were working diligently pollinating the tomatoes' flowers to produce some of those juicy sandwich toppings. My other concern also had to do with the bugs, but much bigger ones -- tomato worms. These beasts of a worm are cute at first (even for their size - about as big as your index finger with a little more girth), but their stinger that sits up from their back trumps any bumblebees.' Hence my irrational fear of bumping into one. Fortunately, I did not run into any of these worms and the bumblebees were more concerned with the nectar of the tomatoes' flowers than me...even if some were right next to my head, collecting pollen on their hind legs and taking off to the next, nearby flower.

After we pulled all the weeds, the next step was to bend over some more, pick up the piles, throw them into a cart, wheel them over to a compost pile, bend over some more and throw them on top of the heap of compost. At first we were taking these piles down a steep hill into the woods. During this venture back to the shade, I couldn't help but think about rumors of black bears that apparently are known to wander the area where the farm is located -- I did not see any. However, on one trip back I did nibble on a couple blackberries and venture down to the river to try and recollect any energy I had left by meditating on the water that rushed past. An hour after that five minute break of solitude, I was back to running on fumes and shear ambition, bending over, collecting piles of weeds, hauling the cart to the nearest compost pile, bending over, collecting piles of weeds and throwing them on top of the compost...ugh. As the day came to a close, I later found out that this order to collect the pulled weeds and throw them in the compost pile was an unnecessary order from one of my co-workers -- the always pleasant Martha. For a moment, I pictured myself jumping on her back much like a lion does to a caribou and clawing at her...but, she is too sweet and was obviously mistaken so that urge subsided. Instead, I continued bending over, collecting weeds, putting them in a cart, taking it over to the nearest compost pile, bending over, picking the weeds BACK up and throwing them on top of the heap of composting organic matter.

The day finally ended with the discovery of a tomato worm. Since we are an organic farm, we do not spray anything to keep these worms off the tomatoes. Instead, it was fed to the chickens who play tag with these juicy treats by passing them around to each other and pecking at the worm until this once scary creature transforms from a game to dinner. So, regardless of my almost completely stiff back, at least the chickens had a good evening:)

The Red pill or the Blue pill?

2009-07-26T19:31:00.007-04:00

If you have had the pleasure of seeing the movie "The Matrix," then you will remember the pivotal scene when Neo gets to choose whether or not he is going to travel down the rabbit hole and see the truth of his world. Well, I am giving you same choice in this post. If you take the Red pill, you may be exposed to some truths about what you are ingesting everyday, three times a day...if you take the Blue pill, then you can go to bed tonight and keep blindly consuming GMO (genetically modified) foods, nicely packaged "meat," and "food" that can hardly be considered food anymore. The choice is yours...

For those who have decided on the Red pill...down the rabbit hole we go.

Although I already know a lot about the "food" we eat everyday, I decided to broaden my horizons today and see the movie "Food Inc." If you have not seen it - you must. This film showed how most of the government agencies who are here to protect us (FDA, USDA, etc.) are influenced by a much higher power - corporations, a.k.a. MONEY. These corporations have taken absolute control over our most basic need - food. But, it doesn't stop there...

First, I will start with mass produced meat. If you have been reading my blog, you know that I already covered the treatment of animals in CAFOs (concentrated animal feeding organizations). But, one approach I really liked in the movie was the treatment of the employees who work at these CAFOs and slaughterhouses. The movie mentions that one of the most dangerous jobs in the U.S. is working at a slaughterhouse to process mass produced meat. These employees are usually immigrants, working for little pay, doing the same task over and over, while they try to keep up with machines that pump this "meat" out. This is a breeding ground for mistakes (mixing feces in with the meat) and accidents (employees getting hurt). Next, is the quality of the meat. Where do I even start? The meat you buy at the grocery store or at a nearby restaurant is from animals who are not being fed what evolution and nature intended them to eat. Cows are not supposed to eat corn and animal parts, they are supposed to eat grass. This corn diet makes them get fat fast and that's it. Feeding animals against nature's intentions has dramatic effects...like new strains of E. coli. Another point was the fact that this mass production of meat is mainly a mixture of science and technology. Where does agriculture come into play you ask? Well...nowhere. It turns out playing God has it's advantages on these companies' wallets and sometimes deadly disadvantages for those who are unfortunate enough to eat these corporations' products.

Moving on to our limited options as consumers. Most of the meat in the U.S. is supplied by five companies. Yes, five corporations have taken on providing American consumers with almost all of their meat. The days of going to the local farm and buying half a grass fed cow are gone my friends. Now farmers with limited options sign contracts with these corporations and produce "meat" that comes from animals who may never see the sunlight. As for other products in your local store or restaurant, the options and ingredients are even more limited. Basically everything we eat comes from GMO corn and soybeans. Although we are given the illusion of having unlimited options as we wander through the aisles picking our favorite products, we don't. No matter what brand you are getting (while thinking it's different than the other one right next to it), it is all going in the same pockets of corporate big wigs who just look at us like a profit margin and who want to keep their products as cost effective as possible.

Now, for the scariest part of this movie - the statistics. I really think I only need to mention one, which I found to be the most disturbing...1 in 3 children born in the U.S. will have onset diabetes, for minorities - 1 in 2. Why is this? Because healthy, natural food is not only expensive but it's also rare. So...where does that leave the single mother working two jobs to just pay rent? They are in line at the local fast food place, ordering off the dollar menu.

My personal fear did not stop at these stats...this movie also covered how these corporations are making it almost impossible for anyone to grow their own food. A common practice since the beginning of farming was saving seeds to grow crops for the next year. Not anymore...companies like Monsanto have now patented seeds to the point that it is illegal for farmers to keep their own seeds. If you are wondering how this could happen, "Food Inc." pointed out that many past Monsanto employees are now not only a part of the FDA, but even in the Supreme Court (Clarence Thomas). No wonder why these companies have enough power to limit freedom of speech (Oprah was sued for saying she would never eat another hamburger on her show), keep people out of CAFOs and keep consumers in the dark about what they are eating.

I think I will stop here so I don't give the whole movie away...but I will warn you now - viewing this movie and going even further down the rabbit hole will lead to a feeling of hopelessness and an empty stomach because of your limited, healthy options. Anyone who is really interested in ending the production and consumption of this corporate slop we are being fed, needs to take action. The government agencies who are there to protect our most basic need of eating, have been influenced (and are even run) by the corporations who are shoving these products in our faces. There is so much work to be done and all I wonder is where to start when so many people have no idea what is going on around them and the ones who try to fight it or learn more are very quickly quieted by lawsuits and other techniques. Our ability to produce our own healthy food is fleeting and our rights to speak out against these companies, about our choices as a consumer and the horrific treatment of animals and these companies employees has been squashed almost every time.

I am sure you understand what I mean by a feeling of hopelessness. But this rabbit hole can lead to a light...for me, my personal feelings of discouragement are cancelled out every time I go to the farmers' market or the whole foods store. This is because, as I consumer, I know I have a say. I have the right to choose what products to buy...and I know that it is my responsibility to vote with my pocket book. This probably explains why I feel like an absolute hypocrite whenever I buy pop. If only it was not there to tempt me - that is the ultimate goal.

NOTE: This movie is airing in a limited amount of theatres, so you may have to take a trip to see it. I promise you - it is well worth the drive. I am sure you don't need to ask why there are limited options for seeing this movie. But, if you don't understand - this documentary will open the eyes of the American people to the fact that they are being separated from their food and these corporations don't want you to know what you are eating.

The Decline

2009-07-21T22:04:00.006-04:00

As anyone reading my blogs knows - I work on farm. This decision was what I thought (and think) could be my personal quest to "save the world." Many people in my generation have this desire or feel this obligation, but now I am beginning to lose hope. There is so much work to be done.

While time passes and I spend most of my days surrounded by nature, absorbed in my own journey, I recently exposed myself to the current mass media - cable TV. I do not have cable of my own, but while helping my boyfriend watch after his parents' dog I was sure to get my fix of what I have been missing. Before tuning to the History Channel, Discovery, Animal Planet and other loves of mine...I decided to do some personal research and see what the more mainstream channels had to offer (I consider these stations as the ones that are obviously directed towards the most desired age group of 18- to 35-years-old).

As I watched some of the reality shows (whose names I can't even remember) I came to a slight epiphany and realization of my own personal angst that has questioned: What the f#@%* am I doing? Am I crazy because I quit a cushy full-time job to work on an organic farm? Why aren't I interested in conforming? Why have I always felt like I don't fit in? Why doesn't "having things" interest me?

This epiphany includes many factors, but I feel that it can blamed (on a large part) on the fact that the Millennials (my generation) can also be called the "entitled generation." As I watched mainstream media, I saw we were (and still are) raised to believe that life works like this: Graduate from high school, get a degree, after that piece of paper every door will open for you, get a job in corporate America, buy things, make it your life's purpose to look cute (for girls) / make it your life's interest to find a hot girlfriend (for guys), get married, buy things, move to the suburbs where all the houses are the same, let the city chemically treat your tree lawn, have children who are raised by the local daycare and cable TV (because your yard is too small for them to play outside), buy things, give your children everything you never had including a cell phone at 10-years-old and the cycle continues...

For me, personally, those questions of doubt that arise are because this vicious cycle is what I have been exposed to in the latter part of my life (my parents were awesome and I was not overly exposed to this idea of the American Dream growing up). The realization of why I am doubting my non-conforming actions was refreshing, but it doesn't change the fact that American culture is collapsing. So many people in this country still look for happiness outside of themselves. Fulfillment to them is through their personal appearance and possessions. How did we stray so far from the basics? By basics I mean, a happy marriage, just being in love, having close relationships with those around you, eating dinner as a family, and parents turning off the TV, handing their kid a book or sending them outside to play with sticks (don't even get me started on the lack of imagination in so many American kids).

To be frank, if this is where American culture is headed - I don't want any part. I know I might sound like a slight anarchist or even elitist, but I don't care. There is so much work to be done to get this country back on track, but all this work needs to be done by the people (who seem to be on a steady decline). The fact that so many Americans are basically poisoning themselves with genetically modified foods, mass produced meat and bleached bread is a minor detail to a bigger problem - the American culture is in a large part composed of selfish, shallow and weak people. I know there are good people out there...I am speaking very generally and I am speaking from how the mass media portrays us as a whole (it's got to be based on something).

I think "kids my age" and I know that many of us have felt this feeling of uneasiness as the world almost seems to be collapsing around us. There is a reason for this - things are terrible. That "American Dream" that has been pushed on us will not be there in the next decade unless things change. According to the book "Generations" by William Strauss and Neil Howe, it is up to the Millennials to step up in these current times of crisis. All I can wonder as I see our culture, country, and environment collapsing all around me is - Will we all step up? Right now I am worried if the small number of motivated people in this apathetic majority that makes up most of the American population will be able to do enough to turn things around...

I guess I will just continue to do my part - refuse to conform and build a life around love, sustainability, and morals. Will you join me?

Connecting with your food

2009-07-11T16:28:00.006-04:00

It has been awhile since my last post. The reason for this - that day, the other cow in the pictures (from the post below) suffered and died too. After a full afternoon of watching the other cow suffer, we later found that they both died of grass tetani. The vet informed us this was caused by someone spraying their lawn, likely to control dandelions. Yes, two pregnant cows died because someone wanted their grass to resemble that of a golf course. To get to the point, I was very upset about these cows' deaths. I couldn't even understand why I was tears, but I was. To me, this overly emotional response must have meant something...

So...as time went on, I read more about the treatment of animals on a mass produced scale and I finally decided I had to do something. But first, I had to know what I was talking about if I plan to take big agriculture down. I quit my full-time job in my field of journalism and got a couple freelancing gigs, kept a part-time position in my field and got two part-time jobs on farms. One is sustainable, one is certified organic.

It has been about month and besides constantly sore muscles, early mornings and some sunburn I am learning so much and loving every minute I am in the dirt. At this point, there are too many stories to recap and if I try to quickly go over them, it won't do the situations any justice...like when I battled a pygmy goat on my first day at the organic farm or when about five Amish boys completely cleared a greenhouse of weeds in five minutes when I had been in there picking for over an hour.

Really, this post is an intro to what's to come in my journey to become a farmer. Everyday I work, I come home with a new love for nature and its bounty. Most people don't understand how liberating it is to sit down to a meal and know exactly where everything on your plate came from. When I am forced to go to the grocery store, I later find myself washing the California cherries I bought, with my imagination running rampant. The whole time I am trying to imagine their journey from the Cali fields, to a store in Ohio, to my sink. Were they sprayed? Are they genetically modified in any way? Were they picked before they were ripe and gassed to give them that deep red color? How much life energy is really in this aesthetically pleasing cherry? These questions also probably explain why absolutely no mass produced meat has found its way to my plate in months and why I am teetering on vegetarianism.

Since I got sick of "waiting for life to happen," I have completely immersed myself in farming - trying to expose myself to as much as possible (including going to a slaughterhouse kill floor that looked like I had walked into the wrong room in the movie Hostel). My goal is to learn as much as I can and pass it on to you. I also hope as I make this move away from the corporate slop we have become accustomed to eating, that others will follow and also connect with their food. So...if you want to feel the liberation I have found - keep reading and join this cause for healthier, natural food.

You are what you eat.

2009-04-18T11:35:00.014-04:00

My plan to take a weekend break from blogging has been interrupted in a very sad way. I guess what happened this morning is a sign that I should enlighten people about mass produced food. Since there is really no gentle way to approach this, I am just going to jump right in...

We all know about the steroids, hormones and antibiotics that are pumped into the meat we eat, but most don't understand why. I don't know about every animal, so I will just touch on the ones that I have read about. Cows for one, are now being fed corn (instead of grass) and a grain mixture of cow, chicken and pork parts. This poor diet that the cow's body is not designed for results in their bodies basically rebelling (this is where the antibiotics come in). Also most the mass produced meat everyone eats is raised in a CAFO (Concentrated Animal Feeding Operation). These CAFOs have been described as human cities long before the days of modern sanitation (14th century London). Since they are crowded in together and unhealthy from eating the wrong food for their bodies - they need more antibiotics. For cows, they are fed corn because, well, everything we eat is based from corn - we have a surplus of it and it must be used. Corn offers cheap calories to get cows fat and produce "nicely" marbleized meat for a growing human population. They also need steroids and hormones, because they need to get fat faster. I could really go on all day about how poorly the animals are treated, how disgusting the conditions are, etc. but I have plans so I will just tell you the end result of us basically pissing on Mother Nature. The manure from these corn fed cows can't be used. In fact, there have been reports of fish in streams that get some run-off from CAFO cow manure having abnormal sex characteristics. So, a farm essential - manure - is now toxic waste. Also do not be naive - the USDA, the FDA, all of the government organizations that were started to "protect" us - approve of this. I hope that this gave you some understanding of where your cheeseburger you got at the bar last night came from.

Now for pigs, yes again, antibiotics, steroids and hormones. Everyone knows the diet for mass produced pork is unfathomably disgusting, but I personally think the worst part is how they are treated. Pigs are smart animals (believe it or not, they are smarter than any dog). Since they are intelligent, being crammed into a CAFO with other pigs, injected with chemicals and forced to eat food they normally wouldn't does not go over well. A common reaction has been frustration, so when they have another pig's tail in their face all day they tend to bite it. The other pig being indifferent to it's miserable CAFO life does not stop the biting. The end result - infection -this means death (wasted meat) or a need for antibiotics. So to avoid the cost of antibiotics or wasted prematurely dead meat - they are now snipping pigs tails down to a point where if another miserable pigs bites it, it will hurt like hell. This pain results in the normally indifferent, depressed pig to squeal and get the biter off of them. End result - no wasted meat or antibiotics, but a lot of pain for the intelligent, now depressed pig. You are what you eat people...

Now for the egg laying hen. This is the animal I know the least about. I do know, however, when you eat mass produced eggs they are coming from the worst conditions of all. These hens are kept in tiny cages and will never spread their wings as long as they live. Again, you are what you eat...

Just to make it clear - I loves me some meat. Steak, bacon, chicken, all of it is very yummy. But, since I know these things about mass produced meat and I will not eat just anything. It needs to be from a local farm. I feel this industrialized meat we are eating is to blame for a lot of our Western diseases. Depression is on the rise - gee could it because we are eating depressed, really lifeless animals...We have super bugs like MRSA - could it be because we load our bodies full of antibiotics every time we get a steak at Outback? Just something to think about. If you are interested in eating an animal who has lived a full, happy life just go to eatwild.com. You can find local farmers there. And, no, your organic store is not cutting it. They found a niche and it is now industrialized too, but this topic is for another day.

For those of you who still think these animals are just dumb and lifeless, what I saw this morning proved otherwise. Take a look for yourself. Do big, dumb animals mourn the deaths of others? The cow in the water died while in labor (my landlords did not get to her in time), the cow in the back has been by her side, staring all day. I am sad about this cow and her baby's death, but I am at peace knowing that she lived a full, happy life eating grass - the way Mother Nature (a.k.a. God intended).

The point I am trying to make with this is that regardless of whether or not it's edible we are all God's creatures and we should respect life in general. Americans are so desensitized and just look at food like something to be consumed without any thought for what life was given for it to be on their plate. No wonder we are all obese - half the stuff we eat does not even have any life energy left in it. Native Americans always believed that the buffalo and the plants gave themselves to people to be eaten. They respected what God gave to them and looked at their dinner as a life that was sacrificed. People need to start moving away from this mass consumption before there is nothing left but cancer. It is time to start respecting all of God's creatures, it is time to start supporting your local farmers and it is time to move away from America's industrialized food chain.

It's about time

2009-04-14T21:29:00.008-04:00

Well, this is my first blogging experience. As a journalist, I always thought I was "above" blogging. I have learned my lesson. I recently read an article about a man who has been selling books via his blog. I am sure I am the only person this is new news to, but I found it interesting. No middle man sounds good to me...

So here I am, kind of nervous to loosely be laying my thoughts out on the screen in front of me.

Back to my elitist ways, I know that anyone can blog, but not just anyone can go out and report on a story, know AP and know how to put it together. There is a natural instinct with journalism that many people have, but many don't have the "balls" to follow through with it. In the end, I closed myself out of the blogging realm, because I did not want to put myself at the same level (in terms of writing) as Joe down the street who just hates people who drive a Mitsubishi, because that was in the name of Japanese fighter planes in WWII (the Mitsubishi A6M).

Okay, now that my introduction is over and I have finally conformed, I feel the best way to "ease" you into my blogs is to just tell you what I hate (which is likely what I will go off on tirades about).

1. My generation and everything it stands for - I am a millennial. That should explain it all. We expect and that's all.
2. Loose people - by that I mean loose morals. No, I am not a religious fanatic, so don't make that assumption.
3. Stupid women - they really ruin it for the rest of our gender.
4. Lazy people - I already said I have great disdain for my generation.
5. People who try to be "the victim."
6. Paris Hilton
7. Mass produced food
8. America's two-party system
9. Minorities who wait to call people out on racism - I am minority and I even find it annoying.
10. The typical "American." Who is that? Well, everyone has their own description. Once you hear mine, you will hate them too:)

The purpose of this blog is strictly to open people's eyes to another worldview. Yes, I may sound jaded and completely cynical at times, but I am a realist - deal with it. My true goal is to start an uprising in my generation and get them away from the TV and their iPhones. This is the time to get mad, this is the time for a movement. My generation closely resembles the baby boomers, in terms of world events during our lifetimes, but we are all too lazy and distracted with menial things to get off our butts. Hopefully, this is where I and others will come in - some motivation.

It is time to get mad and show some intiative and it's about time I blogged...